There are huge differences in both emotions and intent. Making love is about pleasing your partner. Having sex is just that ... getting your sexual needs fulfilled.
One is mindless the other one comes from the heart.
Making love is carrying on a relationship with someone you care about. Having sex is just going through the motions without the emotions.
There is definitely a difference. Sex is physical and fun. Making love is what happens when true feelings get involved. If you are in tune with yourself and your partner you can "feel" the feelings change. You will know the difference when you feel it. Making love is physical, fun and involves emotions (feelings) not just lust.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
On Being A Black Woman and Happy With It
So, there’s this thing happening in the black American community (and outside it) where women who look like me are supposed to be grateful for any crumbs that happen to fall into our bleak little lives. Apparently, our lot in life is to be miserable unless some rich educated black man wants us. We’re struggling to survive on our own in a world where we might have to actually be self supporting and self loving, and we don’t even have the good sense to realize that it’s impossible to be happy with ourselves as long as we’re not reflecting the picture society expects. After all, such stellar catches as Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, and Michael Jordan have opted to seek out women of a…lighter persuasion rather than black women.
It’s questionable enough that anyone believes that three dudes who wouldn’t understand fidelity if it walked up to them and sat in their laps being unavailable to black women is supposed to be a clear indicator that black women aren’t valuable. Erm, how to put this politely? Oh right, I’m not in a mood to be polite so I’ll just say flat out I wouldn’t touch any of those cats with my worst enemy’s vagina mmkay? I have standards for the men in my life that include things like trust, respect, and at least a vague grasp of human decency. For the record? I’ve been married twice. The first time was a hot mess in that way that can happen when you’re 21 and too dumb to read the big flashing neon signs that say “Leave this dumb bastard alone” but my current marriage? Loving it. He’s black, educated, and has a good relationship with his mother. It wasn’t hard to find him (I wasn’t even done with my divorce when I met him as a matter of fact) and he has never expected me to be someone else. He loves me for me. I love him for him. That’s our big secret. We’re not unique in this respect either. There are plenty of happy black couples (married or not) out here leading their lives without feeling the need to resort to a Stepford process for either partner. That’s before we get into what it means to be LGBT and unable to legally get married in a lot of places. Newsflash: Not every black woman wants a man. And even for the ones that do? Marriage isn’t necessarily their first priority.
Now, let’s take a second to be real on the topic of marriage. The institution grants certain legal protections and rights, but it doesn’t guarantee a happy couple or even a long lasting relationship. For further proof on that topic feel free to check out the relationship history of the three celebs I’ve already mentioned along with Swizz Beatz, everyone on Basketball Wives, and most of the rest of the modern world. That 50% divorce rate has nothing to do with the flaws of black women and everything to do with the reality that people get married for the wrong reasons to the wrong people everyday. As societal panaceas go, marriage has never really been all that effective despite the hype about the good old days. In the good old days, women got stuck in horrible relationships, men brought home social diseases, and everyone wished they had way out that was socially acceptable and didn’t result in life long poverty. So, let’s drop this idea that marriage has ever been the institution to grant us a stable society. It can’t even grant a stable relationship. And really, if we’re going to harp on the value of marriage? Let’s make it available to everyone instead of offering up expensive substitutes and insisting marriage only has one meaning. If some pop star can get married for 56 hours and the institution still have meaning in the aftermath of that quickie divorce? It’ll be just fine.
This phenomenon doesn’t just rear its ugly head around our love lives though, we’re also supposed to hate our hair, our skin, even the shape of our bodies, and we’re supposed to strive to achieve behavior patterns that are in direct contradiction to our personalities as soon as someone hints that they find us too strong/abrasive/angry/loud or whatever other bullshit excuse they can trot out as part of the effort to denigrate and demean every facet of our existence. After all, we do insist on wearing our hair the way it grows out of our heads, and choosing colors and styles that highlight our skin tones as well as displaying our bodies in ways that we find flattering. I mean, whoever heard of someone wearing a sleeveless top indoors in the winter? Oh wait, I lift weights (and kids) on a regular basis and I also wear short sleeved or sleeveless tops most of the year too. Because they’re comfortable and I like them. And really, what gives anyone the right to police our bodies as though they don’t belong to us? Whoops, I forgot I’m supposed to be begging everyone else for their approval as part and parcel of my experience right? Right.
Except that’s not ever going to happen and the fact that a lot of people are assholes isn’t a reason for black women to turn themselves inside out. It is a good reason to ignore the assholes and keep going about the business of life. Yes, even with “nappy” hair, my natural eye color, and an ass that makes skinny jeans self-destruct I am happy to be a black woman. I love myself, and I love my life even if someone says I’m living it wrong. Instead of finding new ways to insist that to be a black woman is to be miserable, how about celebrating all those unique qualities that are inherent in our shared existence? Oh right, that would require putting down all those ‘ism’s people love to cling to wouldn’t it? I guess if you can’t give up the sexism, racism, and classism then we’ll just have to learn to live with the hate and keep doing our own thing.
Are we suppose to go to church on saturday or sunday im confused?
someone just told me sunday was the wrong day and before long we will all have to worship on saturday .Why???Does it matter will i go to hell if i dont thats a scary thought.Why cant i go on sunday and whats the difference
Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
- Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
- Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
Benefits of dating with married
Benefits of dating with married men are just awesome and they become even more fun for women when they need to seduce to married men. Yes! Benefits of dating with married men are undeniable and enjoying those calls for maturity and smart handling in order to seduce to married men. Here are the top 5 benefits of dating with married men.
1. Nothing Starts from Scratch to Seduce to Married Men
One of the primary benefits of dating with married men is that you don’t have to feel too much conscious or suspicious about anything to seduce to married men as they are already experienced. Benefits of dating with married men are that they know the rules of the game and you know the rules to seduce to married men too. Therefore, for a woman it is easy to seduce to married men as married men precisely know how to handle a lady when she is all set to seduce to married men.
2. A Woman’s Delight As Top Priority of Benefits of Dating with Married Men
As women are better able to seduce to married men, therefore, it is a delightful experience for both the dating partners. A woman seduce to married men as married men know her desires and what makes her feel pleasurable. Hence, achieving the ultimate woman’s delight is also one of the benefits of dating with married men.
3. Forget the Rest When You Plan to Seduce to Married Men
Unlike other relationships, the benefits of dating with married men also include that you are not bound to just one relationship with married men and you are free to do whatever you like and leave according to your own wish. Yes, you can seduce to married men easily but leaving them is even easier. Both the partners in this case know that they are just in a limited time relationship and that is what makes the benefits of dating with married men unique.
4. No Emotional Drama When Planning to Seduce to Married Men
Benefits of dating with married men also include that it has no emotional drama or very deep feelings associated with it. To seduce to married men is easier and you can convey your desires upfront whenever you want. The intensity of this relationship with married men certainly explains best with confrontation of benefits of dating with married menand that’s what makes women seduce to married men easily as at times, they want their power to express in some to her way which is passionate and intense.
5. Savings and More Savings as Benefits of Dating with Married Men
One of the most interesting benefits of dating with married men is that benefits of dating with married men do not require you to buy gifts every now and then as the wives of married men might get suspicious about gifts and a threat of disclosing of an extra-marital affair is high. Therefore, this is the most economical benefits of dating with married men and seduce to married men.
So, till now if you have never tried or considered taking the benefits of dating with married men then now is the time to avail the chance to seduce to married men. You will love dating with married men for sure and it is a guarantee that to seduce to married men will be an experience for you.
Bishop T.D.Jakes sermons on depression, self pity and anxiety
When a woman is abused as a child, she grows up with more problems than the pain of that abuse. She also lives with the anger that nobody helped her, nobody intervened on her behalf, and nobody stepped in and rescued her. People may have seen, but nobody helped. God said something like this,” you were cast out into the open field, and everybody loathed you (see Ezekiel 16:5). That’s the way a woman feels if she was abused as a child like a throw- away baby.
But abused woman aren’t the only ones who fells this way., divorced women, rejected women, and abandoned women feel this way too. In fact, virtually everywoman goes through this experience at some time. When people reject you, it’s very difficult for you to feel good about yourself. You start thinking,” Well, if they don’t think I’m worth anything, maybe I’m not. If they are willing to throw me aside, I must be of no value.”
I beg you not ever to allow another person’s view of you to control the way you see yourself. That’s too much power to give to another human being. If people don’t have the ability to discern the riches of the treasure inside you, that’s their problem. But if you sit at home and wallow in self-pity because they have no discernment, then it becomes your problem.
Recognize that those who reject you have no ability to see inside you, to hear the meaning behind your words, to feel the quality of your touch. They have bought a lie- either consciously or unconsciously _ that the devil has told them about you. They may believe that lie, but don’t you believe it!
If you buy that deception and come to the conclusion that you don’t like yourself, you can’t like anybody else. In dealing with other people, we reach into the well of our own self-esteem and treat them out of the supply that is in us. If your well is dry, you don’t have anything to give anyone else. In Mathew 22: 39, Jesus says we are to love other people to the degree that we love ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves, then we don’t have any love to give to our neighbors.
People who have been treated hatefully become full of hate and can only give hate. People who have been criticized become filled with a critical spirit and can only give criticism. People who have been abused become bitter and angry and can only give abuse.
Refuse to accept the loathing of other people. Don’t allow their opinion to creep into your inner person. Refuse to loathe yourself. If no one else has compassion on you. Remember that God does and that’s reason enough to be good to yourself!
Source T.D. Jakes
Love & Hip Hop Atlanta's Stevie J explains attraction to Joseline
Comparing himself to Charlie Sheen, Stevie Jhas decided to explain how he really feels about fellow "Love and Hip Hop Atlanta" star Joseline Hernandez and just why he thinks women can't seem to get enough of him.
"When you’re around a person every day in the studio, when you at rehearsal with somebody, when you at artistry development with somebody, you kind of catch feelings for them. Joseline became a close friend of mine…then we were in a physical relationship," Stevie says of how he fell for Joseline. As seen on "Love & Hip Hop Atlanta" it's pretty clear there is more than a physical attraction...i feel sorry for Mimi but she need to realize that sometimes you have to let it go, 15 years is a long time to deal with all of that cheating...
Let me say this about Mimi: Mimi talks as if she is up on it and has it all together but a real together woman wouldn’t put up with Stevie and that’s why I don’t get her…she knows she is being mistreated, disrespected and used but she tries to come across like she signed up for this and she is on top of hers and just in it for the game….(I can’t stand that bull crap, and that’s how you know Stevie J controls her; Mimi talks foolish just like him)…
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